all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl.
She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.
i need clear skin by yesterday
Link doesn’t like it when people devalue and disrespect his friends like that.
Edit: Moved watermark to the right since I realized last minute it was covering some of the words.
This is why I love you
this movie was way too heavy for its intended age group
it’s actually really perfect for all ages because when kids learn this stuff early in life it stays with them
britney spears posing with iggy azalea
"It’s getting really hot in here maybe I should open the window to let the"this is so corny I think I wanna cry…
*on a date*
so haha tell me more about your dog
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD HEAR IN CASE OF A NUCLEAR ATTACK
Many countries have systems that allow them to speak to as many people as possible in case of something catastrophic.
The United States has the Emergency Alert System. When triggered, the system interrupts all T.V and radio systems to speak.
This is what it sounds like.
The most creepiest and terrifying noise and voices ever.